Reminders

Stress brought on my first serious pain just after turning thirty. Shingles, they call it, which to me meant a little spot and a whole lot of pain. When the doctor identified the foreign rash on my lower back the pain had not yet begun. Armed with antibiotics and pain pills it hit that night, like nothing I've even experienced. A result of allowing the stress of my job consume me.

My second pain was caused five years later by stupidity. In a hurry I lifted a cooler with 20+ pounds of ice without bending my knees. Within 20 minutes the pain was excruciating and it took over 20 days to heal (that was my summer on the sofa). I was trying to do too much, too fast.

To this day, when I get stressed out, my shingles spot hurts. And, you guessed it, if I do too much lifting, pulling or sometimes even sitting, the muscle I pulled aches. Usually I mutter "I'm old" or "I'm falling apart" and most of the time, God reminds me of the truth.

You overdo it. You need to take time to rest.
Don't worry about tomorrow...trust Me to take care of you.

So, I'll take the reminders He's given me. I'll pray and let go of my stress. I'll remember even I need a break and my family needs me to spend time with them. And I'll praise God for the reminders. Without them, I would have missed out on the peace found in relying on Him and the joy of family time.

The Valley

I approached with hesitation, fear in my steps and mind. I did not want to go through the valley, but I knew it was inevitable. I had seen the chasm from afar and tried to alter my course. I read the Word, turned up my Christian music to drown out the undesirable thoughts. When none of that worked, I warned my husband of what was ahead. I sought prayer support from my sisters in Christ. Though I examined the path that led me to this place in an attempt to find an alternative course, it was too late. I had already arrived.

Since I have traveled through the valley many times, I knew with God’s help I would arrive at the other side, yet I feared the journey. The pain seemed unbearable and the hurt undesirable. And of course there was uncertainty of how long this journey would take. My strength depleted from trying to escape the crossing, I surrendered myself and the situation to God.

Slowly, very slowly, peace filled my soul. As I began to inhale again, thanking God for this unexpected serenity, He brought Psalm 23 to mind. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). I nodded in agreement with David. Yes, I know what it’s like to walk through that valley. Reality is clouded and my life feels threatened. But the rest of the verse came to me, gently convicting me. “I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” I knew God would get me through it, but I had forgotten He was with me. He wasn’t waiting at the end, or cheering me on from afar. He was beside me, holding my hand. What did I have to fear?

Synonyms for death include end, ruin, downfall, demise. Have you ever faced a valley of death? Perhaps when you found out the company was folding and your job was no more? Maybe when a loved one called with news of a horrible illness, or perhaps the moment the doctor delivered bad news. Do you feel your lungs tightening daily as you open your mailbox or when the phone rings and you choose not to answer it, knowing you have no money for the bills that need to be paid? God doesn’t promise that our situations won’t be hard, or even that we won’t hurt. His promise is to be with us, in all circumstances. Only when we focus on Him will fear be cast out.
I know another gorge is in my future. The time and duration is unknown to me. My certainty is that my Father will be my shepherd, guiding me all the way. My focus needs to be on Him, not on the evil around me.

“Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6)

For Such a Time

It was only two short years ago that I got the call from Jeff as I was driving with the kids. "I got the job at Starbucks." It had been 5 months since we had received a salary of any kind. We took a step of faith, knowing God wanted us to home school, and suddenly we were both without employment.

My heart rejoiced at the call, and then as I passed the phone to the kids for him to tell them, reality set in. How could we live on little more than minimum wage? Noah hung up the phone and began praising God for our answered prayer. That's when God whispered to my heart, "You're in my will. I'll take care of you."

Jeff is at a management recruitment meeting as I type. It seems intended for those already in management, but he went to show he wants to move up. He's ready for the next step.

My heart is filled with the familiar anxiety, my eyes with tears and a lump in my throat. "Lord, could it be time? Will it finally happen? What if it doesn't?"

God brought to mind the story of Esther, when her uncle reminds her she was made for such a time. Regardless of the outcome of tonight, I will praise my God. He has developed my husband into a leader, at work but most importantly at home. I would love to work less, have the bills paid and see my husband rise in the company. But without a doubt, His hand is upon our life. There's no place I'd rather be.

Faithfulness leads to Fruitfulness

You have to love Sunday School lessons that repeat the point at least 20 times in hopes of cementing it into their brains and hearts. The point of today's lesson about Paul was "Faithfulness leads to fruitfulness".

First I needed to define our terms, then we read through and interpreted the scriptures. And every fifth sentence, I'm reminding the children that "faithfulness leads to fruitfulness".

The lesson went well, they paid attention for the most part and were even somewhat engaged. As I was coming up on my last phrase, God opened my eyes to an amazing sight. There in front of me was my beautiful 8 year old son, Noah, who loves God's word with such passion he reads ahead in his Bible because he can't get enough. And behind him stood my handsome husband, my provider, protector, my spiritual leader. They had been in the room the whole time, but as I spoke my last "Faithfulness provides fruitfulness" God showed me that the faithfulness of myself and my husband is producing amazing fruit in our children.

There are days (including today) that I would have rather stayed home and been about my housework and writing rather than go to church. There are nights that I'm so tired when I sit down on the couch I don't want to get up (or I don't have time to sit!), let alone read and interpret the Bible to my children. But it is being faithful to God in all things, big and small, that are having a lasting effect on our children. And I do believe God's blessing will include our children becoming godly adults and raising godly children themselves.

Wouldn't you do anything for your children? Then start today, by being 100% faithful to God.

What I Learned in 2009

“Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.” Isaiah 46:9

As I reflected on 2009, without a doubt there are several incidents I would prefer to forget. Remind me of the happy times, but leave the hard times behind. That is when God showed me this verse and I realized He wants me to remember the past according to what He has done for me or taught me. When I took that perspective, He taught me -

• Wisdom and grace in the first year of my job as an ES
• Patience in teaching another child with Becca for preK
• Contentment by celebrating 10 years of marriage with lunch and a movie
• Happiness with season passes to Disneyland
• Rest with a pulled muscle and my first four weeks of summer vacation on the couch
• Reliance on Him by doing four 3 day craft festivals, home schooling and working full time
• Rejoicing in the school success of my little guy
• Provision in getting through the summer financially without a July paycheck
• Forgiveness and mercy when I spoke without thinking on many occasions
• Faith through studying the life of the apostle Paul
• Humility in reaching out to others in my time of need
• Endurance through times of depression
• Maturity through reading His Word and spending time with Him
• Love from the devotion of my husband
• Success in finishing and revising my first novel I started 15 years ago
• Peace while snuggling with my children
• Hope as I began my second year as an ES
• Comfort in the arms of my husband
• Service through dedication to Children’s and Women’s Ministry
• Amazement in watching my baby learn how to read and write
• Sacrifice in choosing to Home School my children
• Kindness through my sisters in Christ
• Wealth in family time together
• Pure joy in being His child and being called according to His purpose

Good times, hard times, sad times, I will carry all I have gained into this new year. I encourage you to make your list and remember all your God has done for you.

A Gift for Jesus

There is one gift that sits beneath our tree...our gift to Jesus. This year on Christmas Eve as a family we read the Christmas Story from the Bible. As Jeff finished reading the scriptures, I talked to the kids about how Jesus is our special gift from God and how we thought every Christmas we could think of a gift to give back to Jesus. Maybe it would be a bad habit we want to change or a good habit we want to start, but something that would show Jesus and others our love.

On small slips of paper we wrote what we wanted to give to God to glorify Him and placed them in a decorated box. Then our 8 year old Noah prayed, dedicating the box to the Lord. When all the presents were gone on Christmas Day, we placed our gift beneath the tree. It will be packed away with the Christmas decoration and brought out next year, when we will open it to see how we did and decide on a new gift to give.

Today Becca shared her game in the car with Noah to honor him and I walked out of the little girl's room without yelling when frustration overcome me at bedtime and returned when she was ready for bed. Noah was not quite as successful. He needed a reminded when he annoyed his sister; however, he ended the night by telling Becca he loved her. Sometimes we forget that small steps will get us to our destination, we just need to remember to take these steps every day.

This year we aren't dedicating our lives to be missionaries in a far off land, but desiring to give more to our own family. I do believe it's a gift that would make Jesus happy.

My Civic Duty

The judge acknowledged how inconvenient having jury duty the week of Christmas was. As he continued his pep talk about how important it was to serve, I made a mental list of all I was missing out on -baking cookies and fudge, wrapping the presents and picking up a few more, not to mention this was my vacation! Is it too much to ask for a little break? If he only knew…well, “your honor” wouldn’t care, but maybe it would make me feel better to tell him!

One day, one trial, I told myself as we filed into the courtroom. Hopefully it will all be over soon. I wished I could be a lucky one that would be excused due to hardship (I tried and they didn’t accept my hardship). When my name wasn’t called for the jury boxes, I was relieved. Surely it was only a matter of time.
Three hours later, there was no official jury in place. And then I found out Noah was throwing up again. We thought he was on the up swing, he’d be well soon. Not so much.

By the time I got home at 5:30pm, I was mad and bitter, with good reason. I was told if I left before the final pick, I would have to serve another day. Waste another day? That seemed entirely unfair.

I grumbled until the kids went to bed, Noah so weak I had to carry him. I sulked while eating my ice cream. And then I finally picked up God’s Word, opening it to the book of John. Jesus spoke about why a man was born blind.

‘“Neither this man nor his parents sinner,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the word of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me.”’

I missed out on more than baking cookies and sleeping in today. As I grumbled and complained I missed out on God being displayed in my life. Being caught up with my own circumstances, ruined my attitude and my day. It’s sad that I was short with my husband and too busy whining to others to spend time with my kids. It’s also a bummer that I was grumpy with the other jurors. But the most disappointing part is that I didn’t do the work God set before me today. As I learned in my most recent Bible Study it’s not ok to grumble and complain, or let our angry control us.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I know the work the Lord has set before me. I ask for forgiveness and pray I can represent Him well tomorrow. And I’m thankful that unlike the person that is standing trial that I may have to judge, I know asking God for forgiveness is enough because He sent His son pay the price for my sin.