It was about four months ago now that the pain came. I didn't "do" anything, or maybe I did too much, but the excruciating pain returned. The doctor only wanted to prescribe drugs, but I insisted on physical therapy. That is when the rollercoaster began.
I haven't wrote about it, maybe because I didn't want it to be my reality. But very quickly I realized I could do next to nothing. Some days the drugs took the edge off, other days all I could do was cry. But my God is so good, He never left me. And He taught me some pretty incredible lessons.
I learned how to accept help. Cleaning was impossible for months and hosting two Bible Studies a week left me with a problem. God placed it on my heart to say YES to whatever help was offered, so I did. What a blessing, though humbling, it was.
God showed me how to slow down. Couch time became a necessity. For someone that spends little time at home, I spent as much time as possible at home. Snuggling with the little girl, play cards with the boy, lifted my spirits and made them feel special.
I realized the importance of training children well. My kids never complained or even questions the extra things I asked of them (and they don't even receive allowance). Whenever I ask them to bend over to pick something up (bending is bad for me), they answer "Sure Mom". Their love and giving hearts filling me with joy.
I came to recognize Jeff as my partner. I still can't go grocery shopping alone, or touch the laundry. Jeff just slipped in where the need was. He also became my prayer partner. Realizing he could do nothing to stop the pain, he turned to the Lord, praying for me and over me. Our relationship has grown more in the past 4 months than it did our first 4 years of marriage. God is doing a mighty work.
So, that's the rock I'm been hiding under. It's covered with pain on the outside, but inside, it's transforming me. I still pray tomorrow will be the day I will be well, but I don't mind it so much now. I finally see all the good He is doing in me. It's definitely worth it.
